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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Tuesday's Topic

The other day I was watching the television program "One Born Every Minute". It's a reality show that highlights three women while they go through labor and delivery. I also have issues with it, such as the fact that it pushes epidurals and the women are confined to bed the whole time. The one natural birth it showed was viewed more as humorous than a good/great thing.

That's not the debate today though. During one part of the program the nurses were chatting amongst themselves and brought up the topic "Just imagine how bad your life could be if you had ended up with the one you dated when you were 18!" They all shuddered and laughed. I'm assuming they meant that the men (boys?) they dated when they were 18 were grossly immature. I can't relate as I did end up with the one I dated at age 18 and have no regrets.

So here's your question "What do you think your life would have ended up like had you married the one you were dating at age 18?" Are you breathing a sigh of relief right now? Laughing at the thought of what could have been? Any regrets?

I also bring this topic up because I just finished reading the book "Time of My Life" by Allison Winn Scotch. It's about a woman who is stuck in the drudgery of a stale marriage and the mundane tasks of motherhood. She always images the what ifs of her past and if she had stayed with her previous boyfriend. She then finds herself waking up one morning 7 years in her past and being able to live life over again. At first I hated her...she didn't want to go back to married life and planned to stay with her previous boyfriend. I about put the book down. She finally realizes that she loves her husband and can't imagine life without him and can not fathom a world without her daughter. So my question above is not do you wish you had done things differently but rather just what do you think your life would have turned out like had you done things differently? (Or not so differently in the case of people like myself who did marry their childhood sweethearts!)


  1. Since I married that man (boy at that point in life) that I loved at 18 and am still madly in love with him 17 years later I guess I can't really comment! And you know what, I am really happy about that!

  2. I married the man I dated at 18 and I love him. I cannot and do not want to imagine life with out him!

  3. I can't imagine my life if I would have married my boyfriend at 18...ugh! I did meet my husband when I was 19 though. I believe that my long term boyfriend I broke up with at 18 taught me everything I DIDN'T want in a husband.

  4. Like you and two posters above, I married the man I dated when I was 18, infact I married him when I was 18, and almost 17 years later we are more in love today then we were then.

  5. That is a dangerous question. One that I believe should never be asked. The devil wants us to look back. He wants us to question the choices we have made in the past. We all make choices everyday for the good and the bad. It does not matter anymore, the only thing matters is what we do with the time we got today. It is to easy to become disatisfied with our current lives when we question the "what-ifs".

    I will say that I am very happy that I did not marry any boyfriends from my teen years. Not because of what could have been, but because of the blessings that I have had for the last 16 years and today with my husband and children.

  6. Amy,
    While I see your point (dwelling on the past is never a good thing) my point in asking this question was to see what people would say about how their life *could* have turned out. In most cases, it is a "Whew, I'm so glad I made the decision I did" and "Thank God for unanswered prayers". There are points in our lives that we can look back on and be glad we made the decisions that we did...those are good times to look back on and be glad that God lead us in that direction.
    For example, my life could have been totally different right now had I not gotten married at age 18. It would be totally different had I dated several people instead of marrying my first (and only!) love. But I wouldn't ever change the direction that my life took because I wouldn't be blessed with what I have now. So I DO look back sometimes, but have NO regrets. :)

  7. Hehe... well, when I first read the question I knew I wasn't someone who married my boyfriend from when I was age 18. BUT then I realized that my now-husband did marry the girl he was dating when he was 19. (I was 21.) That's pretty close...

    I honestly can't even imagine marrying the guy I was dating when I turned 18. I broke up with him because I didn't see a future with him. I had left for college, and he stayed at home. If I had married him, I'd be a lot richer because he was in on a lot of early computer programming stuff that got BIG (like Napster) and made a lot of money working for start-ups. But I wouldn't have a college degree because I would've probably eventually left college to be with him. I just can't see it. Didn't like him that much.

    HOWEVER, I did start dating another guy later on while I was still 18 and we dated for two years. I know a lot about what my life would look like if I'd married him because he ended up marrying one of my college girl friends. I would've settled down earlier, had kids already and probably be really resentful, because when I dated him I didn't feel confident enough in myself to really be me. I was too afraid of losing him to some other girl. If I had been more mature at the time, we actually could've been a nice couple, but I didn't know how to be in a relationship at the time.

    In any case, I'm super glad I ended up with who I did. He's the perfect guy for me! :)

  8. I've thought about this one sometimes because I am so lucky. I received a two year degree from a college in Kansas and that was all my family expected me to get. On a whim the summer after I received that degree I decided to go back to Kansas to finish my 4 year college degree at a different college. My parents were totally against it.

    I met my husband at that college. If I wouldn't have decided to go back to college I would never have met him and would probably be living in New York instead of the wonderful State of Iowa.

  9. I met my now husband at age 17. He was 26. We dated and were engaged and then married. I was 19. Do I have regrets? No. We have been married 22 years now. While I do wish that I would have gone to college, at the time I did not know what to go for. Also, my father died at an early age and did get to walk me down the aisle and see our first born before he died. That I was very greatful for. He got to see my husband.

  10. I shudder at the thought of marrying the man I was dating when I was 18. I wasn't a believer and my life was much different. Thank God for God's grace and mercy...I've been married to the guy I dated at 26 for 15 1/2 years.

  11. I can't imagine being married to the guy I dated when I was 18, or the guy I dated at 19 for that matter! I met my husband when I was 22, started dating him when I was 23 and married him at 24 (we were both 24). We got engaged after 3 months of dating, married about 15 months after that. All I can say is "When you know...you KNOW!" I never had that feeling before my husband and looking back I am so glad things turned out as they did.

  12. I did marry the guy I was dating at 18. We were together a total of 8 years (we started dating when I was 17, married when I was 22). I don't have regrets because from that relationship I gained two wonderful children. I also matured quite a bit and learned so much about myself and relationships. And now we have been divorced for 4 years and I am with an awesome man that I know is my forever. We have known each other since I was 10 and he just makes sense and feels so right. But if we had tried to be together at 18? It might have been a disaster because we were both too immature and young to know enough to grow a meaningful relationship.

  13. My husband and I met and started dating when we were both only 18. We got married when we were 19. That was 43 years ago! Although we had our struggles, and life wasn't easy for a couple of kids that should probably have waited till we were older to get married-we had so many things in common. Our faith, our moral values, our mutual interests and experiences growing up; I believe this is why we are still married. I can't imagine being married to anyone else, and we still love each other.



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