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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Like a Ton of Bricks

It is strange how one processes a life changing event. For me, it is slowly.

On Sunday night as we had a tour of the Ronald McDonald House I thought to myself how lovely it was. As we toured the kitchen area and saw volunteers making food for the families I thought to myself "That is so nice of these people to do this for these families with a sick child." Then it hit me like a ton of bricks...we are that family now.

My worst nightmare has come true. During a week that little boys and girls are dreaming of Christmas my son is lying in a hospital bed and crying out in pain as the nurses get him out of bed to go potty or to stand on the floor and take a few steps. While mothers are tucking their children in at night and kissing them on their forehead I am next to my son's hospital bed and running my fingers through his hair to soothe him when he has a bout of pain, while telling myself to remember the feeling of his hair on my fingers as soon he will probably be sporting a bald head.

One week ago today I complained on this very blog about life sometimes being so daily. You know - mundane, simple, even boring at times. The very next day my world changed. I'd give anything to get that boring, mundane, simple life back for my child and family. How I wish I could take those words back...my life was perfect.

We start a new chapter in our life now. It won't be an easy one, but I pray for a happy ending.


  1. Praying for you & your family as you begin this journey. Just remember, God is still with you & still walking beside each of you through this valley. I am believing and trusting for a complete healing for sweet Jacob and knowing that the name of Jesus is still as powerful as it was in Bible times when it cured the sick and healed the lame! May you feel God's love and presence in every moment of this journey.

  2. Elizabeth:

    You will find over time that you will have to dig down deep inside yourself and find courage to face what is ahead of you. Take it in small bits and pieces. Sometimes the big picture is just too hard to face.

    I believe this blog will become your outlet for feelings of sadness, anger and fear and we your blog friends will read what you have to say and do our best to lift you up.

    As to wishing you could be back to a week ago, I know how you feel. When I delivered our daughter prematurely years ago, I kept wishing I could go back to the night before she was born. That will eat you up -- it is in the past. All you have is today, tomorrow hasn't happened.

    I think about you and your family throughout my day and I say a prayer each and every time.

    Take care and if you are in I.C. - I know you are in good care there. I was hospitalized there once and can't say enough about the care I received - physically and emotionally too. Don't forget that hospitals have wonderful chaplains that can help you cope also.

  3. I saw your tweet to MckMama. I remember seeing you in her blog frog forum. I am praying for you son. I have a 6 year old boy and I can't imagine what you are going through. My heart is breaking for you. I pray for total recovery for your sweet boy. Jen L.

  4. There is hope. God is with you, and I pray He lifts you all up each moment of every day. I encourage you to be in the moment at all times, for there is life. Prayers for your sweet boy. From a mom who lost her dear child.

  5. Elisabeth,
    I am thinking about you and Jacob every day and we´re praying for you! Sending you a big hug!
    I can slightly understand how you must feel because last year just a few days after christmas my godson received his first round of chemo, at only 3 months old. I know you little man is a trooper just like my little Drew-Bean!

  6. My family and I are praying for your son everyday. May God give youand Jacob the strength to get through this.

  7. May heaven and its angels surround you at this time. We are praying for you!!!

  8. Still praying, your family is always in my thoughts these days.

  9. I just came across your blog about a week ago, thinking "I like this blog, I'll have to keep reading." I just ended up back here and was stunned to read the heartbreaking news about your son's diagnosis. Your family will be in my prayers. I'm so sorry for all your little Jacob is going through. It sounds like he's being incredibly brave through this ordeal. Please wish him a Merry Christmas from a reader in Philadelphia, PA.

  10. I will be praying for your sweet little boy, you and your entire family. Praying for his pain and for peace.
    ~Danna (new follower)

  11. I found your blog on MckMamma's tweet, and I wanted to stop by and let you know my family and I are praying for your sweet boy and family.

    God bless you all and Merry Christmas! I pray Jacob will be feeling better and you can spend it as a family!

  12. I am praying for you and your family and Jacob's doctors daily...constantly. I tear up every time I read your blog now.

    I wish there was something I could do for you and Jacob. I have spread the word through prayer chains for y'all. I'm posting the link to your blog and your story everywhere. It's all I can do, to get more and more people to pray for you and Jacob.

    I look at my children, and our boring, mundane life, and I'm so thankful for it. I take their good health for granted....I think of you and Jacob so often when I look at my little guys. Your life seems so similar to mine, it really hits close to home when I read your blog.

    I may not comment daily, but just know your family is constantly on my mind, constantly in my prayers...



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