I've even quit TOPS for the time being. I didn't want to quit TOPS, mind you, but this summer has been incredibly busy so I was unable to fit the weekly weigh-ins and meetings in. Then when the kids joined Tae Kwon Do it was pretty much impossible to go since it is at the same time as TOPS and someone has to be at home with Joe. Even if I could go to TOPS I would be scared to step on the scale now.
The thing is, this past spring I was at the exact weight that I felt comfortable at. My clothes fit perfectly, I had more energy, and I felt healthy. Now, not so much. I bet that I only gained five pounds or so but my clothes are feeling a bit tight and I feel so blah. I'm not eating the right foods and not exercising enough.
Actually, this is what I feel like...
My summer was quite stressful. Recently more stressful events have taken place. When I'm stressed I eat. Add to the fact that I had a raging case of PMS last week where I wanted to shove every bit of food in the house into my mouth and also felt like murdering everyone for the littlest thing and we can come to the conclusion that things have taken a downward slide in the healthy department.
It is hard to dig yourself out of the pit of despair. It is a vicious circle...I get stressed therefore I eat, I eat crap therefore I don't feel good, I don't feel good therefore I don't feel like fixing healthy food, I don't fix healthy food therefore I feel like a pig, I feel like a pig therefore I am stressed...Not fun. Not productive. Something needs to change.
I don't have a scale at home so I can't chart my progress. Here's the thing though, right now I don't want to focus on weight, but rather how I feel. Right now I feel like crap. My goal is to not feel like crap.
Today marks a new day and I am going to challenge myself to get back into healthy mode. Better foods. More exercise. A lot less junk. My goal is to get back to where I feel comfortable with myself; where I have energy and feel healthy.